why do i have to do it?

why do i have this urgency to seek for her...
i dont know

but at least i feel that because i know she is facing some confusions in her life, gearing herself to be more matured i see that she is going to be serious in leaving the online world. for a while i guess but there is such a hint in me that she wont leave that long. because these things have been part of her for so long how can you have an immediate change as such. there is only one way that what she does may be truthful in which with sheer determination she may as well leave the online.

oh what i am worried of why am i worried so much...
what i am so worried is that the implication that may have come along with my anonymous words to her blog. i dont know why i keep myself as anonymous as possible. i know no one is reading this blog except myself therefore the conviction of the knowledge of the need to face a certain justification of what is maturity...

i feel that there is a need for me to resume that role once more... once more is not the correct phrase but again and again is... in which the implication is o be resume the white angel hope...

shine brightly for others as by helping others i am helping myself.
it is a moral code that i must abide.

therefore the sun plan shall be executed no matter what happens
at least if i am not a big part of her life
at least i can contribute to a little part of her life

somehow i need an opening to start it...

i have never written this long therefore i hope that by expressing myself here i will feel a bit calm... and if she seeks for help i will answer for it and at least give the hints to signal my light...